The art of simple answering

As we grow older, we slowly realise that our preferences grow older too. That quick coffee plan after a tiring day does not feel as easy anymore. More often than not, we would rather sit at home and have people come over, if at all.

Sometimes plans get cancelled because of PMS, a low mood, or just a bad day. And that is okay. But as we age, what becomes truly important is the circle around us. A circle where you can be honest, almost like a quiet confession, without being judged or met with sarcasm.

People matter in life, but the right people matter even more. There are days when you are simply mentally tired. All you want is to wear comfortable clothes and curl up on your sofa, doing absolutely nothing.

I have often seen people make unnecessary sarcastic comments when plans change. Things like saying you are busy anyway or that you always cancel so you are not included anymore. What does that really achieve?

We are adults. If something bothers you, communicate it. If you are upset, say it kindly. Sarcasm does not move anything forward. If someone truly values you, they will not look for ways to hurt you. They will try to understand.

Life is already tough enough as it is. Every day comes with work pressure, long commutes, and endless noise. And do not even get me started on the roads. The impatience, the anger, the need to prove something over a few seconds at a traffic signal. Like what are you achieving by overtaking someone and showing your upset face or a hand gesture? Because they are a few seconds late to start on green? Like what? What is anyone really trying to prove there? Everyone just needs to slow down a little.

Then you reach work and deal with all kinds of people. The good, the bad, and everything in between. Not just work, with family, with clients. That is life.

At least the people you choose to spend time with after all of this should make life simpler, not heavier.

I have never been someone who hangs out just for the sake of it. I value my time. Even when I choose to waste it, it is my choice. I do not want to be in places out of obligation, feeling drained and disconnected.

So let us keep things simple. Make life simple. Make feelings simpler. Break them down and explain them in human terms. If you do not want to come for a plan, cancel it. If you want to make a plan, do it. Not everyone has to agree. People have different schedules and different capacities. Accept it and move on with honesty.

You and I will never fully know what another person is dealing with in their life. Even with the people closest to us, there will always be parts we do not see. So give people the benefit of the doubt.

If you can make someone’s day a little better, do it. And if you cannot, at least do not make it harder.

So let us choose ease. Let us choose clarity over cleverness and honesty over sarcasm. Say what you feel, without dressing it up or throwing it at someone sideways. Life is already layered and heavy. Our words do not need to add to that weight.

Be the person who makes space, not noise. The one who understands that silence is not rejection and cancelling a plan is not a lack of love. Sometimes it is just tiredness. Sometimes it is self preservation. Sometimes it is choosing rest over performance.

We are all carrying more than we show. Quiet anxieties, unseen battles, days that feel longer than they should. A little kindness goes much further than a sharp remark ever will. A simple answer can be an act of care.

And if there is one thing worth growing into as we age, it is this. Being softer with people. Being direct without being unkind. Letting relationships breathe instead of tightening them with expectations.

If you can show up with warmth, do it. If you cannot, step back gently. 

But never forget that the simplest way to love people is to make life feel lighter around you.